down memory lane...

i recently found an old journal of mine from right before and right after micah was born - just before i got too busy to keep up with it. i've been playing guitar when i can find the time, and i remembered a song i wrote for micah when i was 19, a few months prior to the day he made his way into our world. as he gazes lovingly across the table at me while he eats his breakfast, i'm filled up with this weighty, heady buzz - so thankful he chose me to be his mother. what a great little guy.

lullaby (micah's song)

i'm not a very good baker

and i won't make a very good mother

funny how these things turn out

funny how life turns you out

and i was never a very good actor

and yes i worry

if you will find me attractive

and i wonder have i lived my life to be everything

that your perfection deserves to find in me

la la la la la la la lullaby

la la la la la

and i wonder if i am good enough

and i wonder will you know that you were loved

i've always been just a little too selfish

and now i wonder can i find myself selfless

i find i worry that i'm not fine by you

i find as time goes

i'm defined by you

la la la la la la la lullaby

la la la la la

and i wonder if i am good enough

and i wonder will you know that you were loved

never doubt that you are love

never doubt that you are love

never doubt, never doubt, never never never never never never never never

never doubt, never doubt what you are